Should You Move To Canada?

  1. Do you enjoy real maple syrup?
    Flickr: chrism70 / Creative Commons

    1. Yes. Of course. Who doesn’t?

    2. No, not really.


    Did you know that Canada has a global strategic maple syrup reserve?

    Well, they do! The reserve was established to ensure a steady and continuous supply in the event that something happens to maple trees. If you like maple syrup, you’ll probably love Canada!

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  1. Do you knowingly commit crimes on a regular basis?
    MattysFlicks / Flickr: 68397968@N07 / Creative Commons

    1. No! I’m no criminal.

    2. Yes. I am a bad person.


    In Canada, police departments give out ‘positive tickets’ to thank people for doing good.

    The idea came from Ward Clapham, a 28-year retired veteran of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. He envisioned a world in which police officers rewarded the good in people, rather than just looking for the bad.

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  1. How do you feel about pineapple on pizza?
    Flickr: skibler / Creative Commons

    1. I love it.

    2. I hate it.


    Canadians invented Hawaiian pizza!

    The first Hawaiian pizza was cooked in 1960 by Sam Panopoulos at the Family Circle Restaurant in Chatham, Ontario. If you’ve always yearned to be closer to the roots of Hawaiian pizza, Canada is the place for you.

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  1. Do you think there should be harsh penalties for using relatively harmless drugs like alcohol and marijuana?

    1. No. I’m mostly fine with casual marijuana use.

    2. Yes. I think drug users should be locked up.


    Random drug tests are illegal in Canada.

    The Supreme Court of Canada weighed the importance of workplace safety against the right to privacy, and in a 6-3 majority decided that random alcohol testing for employees in safety-sensitive positions was an invalid exercise of management rights, effectively outlawing random drug testing. If you like to get a little high now and then, move to Canada!

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  1. Really though, going to a bar and grabbing a drink is always nice, right?

    1. Yep! Always up for grabbing a cold one.

    2. No. I don’t drink.


    Drinking is great, and George Street in St. John’s has the most bars and pubs per square foot of any street in North America.

    Over 120,000 people visit the two block stretch of road in Newfoundland during an annual celebration called the George Street Festival. Move to Canada! Get drunk!

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  1. Do you think dairy cows should be given dangerous growth hormones?
    Flickr: publicenergy / Creative Commons

    1. No! That stuff will kill you.

    2. Yes. Anything to make a little more profit.


    Canada doesn’t allow growth hormones to be used on cows.

    In Canada, growth hormones used to stimulate milk production are not allowed for sale or permitted for use. To maximize milk production, farmers in Canada just make sure that their cows are healthy and well-nourished. If you like your dairy products to be better for you, head to Canada.

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  1. Have you ever thought about how great being a Jedi would be?

    1. Of course. I’ve wanted to be a Jedi since I first saw Star Wars.

    2. Nah. I’m not really a Star Wars fan.


    Jedi is an official, state-sanctioned church in Canada.

    It’s true! Jedism is officially recognized as a nonprofit religious organization in Canada. There’s no place on Earth where you can feel closer to The Force.

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  1. Do you think Lay’s should be more adventurous in their flavor choices?

    1. Yes. I’m always up for interesting new chip flavors.

    2. No. I’m a boring person who enjoys boring chips.


    Canada has Lay’s flavors you’ve only ever dreamed about.

    Here are some flavors available in Canada: Ketchup, Dill Pickle, Fries n’ Gravy, Roast Chicken, and Smokey Bacon.

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  1. How do you feel about those chocolate Kinder Surprise eggs?
    Flickr: aarongustafson / Creative Commons

    1. They’re great! Love those little toys inside.

    2. They’re dangerous and should be outlawed.


    Kinder Surprise eggs are legal in Canada!

    Maybe it’s because Canadian babies are just smarter and less prone to choking on toys, or maybe it’s because Canada is a magical place where food always comes with toys and other fun surprises inside. Either way, if you’re looking for Kinder Surprise eggs, look no further than Canada.

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  1. Quick! Canada or New Jersey?

    1. Canada!

    2. New Jersey!


    84% of people would rather erase New Jersey off the map than Canada.

    Of course, there were still 76,791 people out there who would still eliminate Canada. But still, if you want to win the hearts and minds of your fellow man, move to Canada.

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  1. Do you think it’s better to be intelligent or unintelligent?
    Flickr: thomasleuthard / Creative Commons

    1. Intelligent, for sure. Smart people are great.

    2. I prefer unintelligent people.


    Canada is the most educated country in the world!

    According to NBC News, Canada is the most educated country in the world. 51% of the population has received tertiary education.

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  1. How do you feel about rats?
    Flickr: necilbug / Creative Commons

    1. They’re cute, but they’re vermin.

    2. Given the choice, I’d let rats take over the world.


    The province of Alberta is entirely rat free!

    Thanks to strict policies and efficient pest control, border patrol agents have managed to eliminate wild rats from the province of Alberta. The only place you can find them is in zoos. If you’re sick of rats in your house, move to Alberta!

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  1. How do you feel about hateful homophobes?
    Flickr: msun523 / Creative Commons

    1. I’m not a fan.

    2. I like them.


    Members of the Westboto Baptist Church are banned from Canada!

    The group is not allowed to enter Canada, because the government considers their sermons and protests hate speech.

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  1. When you do something wrong or act impolitely, what do you do?

    1. Apologize profusely.

    2. Nothing.


    Canadians love to apologize!

    In fact, Canadians apologize so much, that in some areas, saying you’re sorry is not a legal admission of guilt.

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  1. What percentage of something do you prefer to be As?

    1. 50%.

    2. Anything other than 50%.


    Canada is 50% As!

    You belong in Canada. Just move there already.

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15. Results: You should move to Canada!

You must be convinced by now. Look at how great Canada is! Did you even read all that awesome stuff up there? That’s just the tip of the iceberg. (Canada also has icebergs.)

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